Brought to you by the good folks at Nate Chopper Productions (NCP). Veggie Chopping Experts (VCE).
What you are about to read is based on a true story – based on real life events in Wakefield, MA.
Children, I have a story to tell you today. Once upon a tuesday – actually, let me give you some background before I dive into it.
By now, you must be aware that your daddy, Nate, is an adventurous spirit. He often likes to go to the extreme in all things good. And sometimes not so good -but more specifically, he likes to take Veronica to the extremes.
If you didn’t already know, Veronica my beautiful all-black Honda Accord, born in 2008. I adopted her in 2011 and I have since then, been taking very good care of her. Taking her in for maintenance, filling up with some unleaded gas, etc. all the while driving through the wonderfully paved streets of the locales near Boston. Anyways, I love Veronica, where I go, she goes.
Anyways, now that you have some background on your daddy, I’ll tell you about Tuesday.
Once upon a Tuesday, your mom, Aubrielle, and I wanted to visit our local CVS to take advantage of the extra bucks we had accumulated overtime. Well, on this Tuesday night, it was not to be! Below is an excerpt of the conversation between your mom and I on said Tuesday:
(walks out of house into car.)
Nate: I need gas, huh?! Oh well, I can wait until the morning. It’s only a little under the line.
Aubrielle: If this car runs out of gas on our going there or coming back, I won’t say, “I told you so” but don’t expect me to be nice about it.
Nate: We’ll be okay. Veronica can take that challenge on.
(pulls out of driveway – yes, we have a driveway.)
We drove down the road for about less than a tenth of a mile – that’s not far at all – and Veronica began feeling sick; she could go no further. She stopped right in the middle of the street. She couldn’t take on the challenge.
What happens next is something for the ages –
Nate: I think Veronica just died.
Aubrielle: Are you serious? Please tell me you’re joking.
Nate: (nervously laughing) CVS doesn’t look like is happening – Veronica is dehydrated.
Aubrielle: You’re lucky we can walk home. Let’s go back, get my car and we’ll get you gas. I can’t believe you. I told you yesterday that you needed gas, but no, you want to take things to the extreme.
Nate: (realizing things are about to escalate) Yeah, good thing we can walk home.
Well, we walked home, got the car and embarked on a journey to find a gas can so I could get gas for Veronica. After 45 minutes of no luck, we decided to go to good ol’ K-mart, where everything you ever need in life, resides. Throughout this journey, we are praying that a tow truck doesn’t find Veronica and kidnap her. You imagine how upset your mom would be if i got her stranded in a car with no gas, leave said car to find gas, then find that said car was towed. Fifteen minute CVS trip turned into a two hour adventure; all this was happening because of negligent parenting – we surmised.
Anyways, we got a 2 gallon gas can and brought to Veronica. We found her safe and still blinking her hazard lights, very lonely. We tended to her and we were on our way home, finally. Your mom was unusually calm about the whole situaissue, so I made sure I didn’t turn my back for fear of my life being terminated. But of course, she wouldn’t do that – she loves me oh so dearly.
(pulling into drive way)
Nate: Well, thank you for being supportive during this tumultuous time.
Aubrielle: I guess you can get this off your bucket list. I can’t believe you though. You’re pretty reckless, you know that?
Nate: (jokingly) Only with you bae. But yes, that was pretty silly. I can’t treat Veronica like that anymore. She deserves better.
Aubrielle: This story is going to leak, either you’ll tell it or someone will. Everyone needs to know what you’ve been up to.
Nate: Sure thing – on a more serious note though, what’s for dinner?
Message from sponsor (Nate Chopper Productions): We apologize for the interruption in this story telling time segment – Nate hasn’t been found since his last comments. Please bear with us as we locate him.
Moral of the story – Listen to your mother, children!